Love it

It has been awhile since I have posted here for a number of reasons. We moved to a bigger place and adopted a new kitten, and frankly, I have been just plain distracted by life. But since yesterday was National Love Your Body Day, I thought I would post a little something and some sweet links.

Like most women, I have my body hang ups. But there are so many things to love about my body. So yesterday I treated myself to a giant bubble bath and clothes that I am super comfortable in.

I love my freckles and my pale skin. I love the way my curves look. I love not dieting but still eating healthy (most of the time). I love being active and I love taking a day off to take a nap with the cats. My body has taken and thrown punches, fallen out of trees, and floated in oceans. It has seen me through 26 years with no broken bones, just sprains, migraines, and a plethora of bruises. I have laugh lines and a crinkle in my brow that matches the one my mother has. I love the tattoo that I have behind my right ear.

My body is a temple, and I refuse to hate it.

Here are a few links to some other love your body day posts:

20 ways to love your body
20 Things I Want To Say To My Twenty-year Self

Photo by the amazing Wildlove Photography

Recharge

I have had a blissful mini-vacation which consisted of my normal 2 days off and a bonus mental health day I used. I took some time to myself when the guys went to work and just chilled. I put my favorite music on, which consisted mostly of Neko Case, light some candles, poured some wine and curled up with some books.

Strange Tales is a wonderful anthology of bizarre tales of Marvel characters in crazy situations. If you are intrigued by the thought of Iron Man fighting Bologna Face, this is for you. Plus look at how cute Spidey is.

The other day I checked out a book from the library on Feminism and was baffled by random post-it notes scattered throughout it. I peeled each one away and kept them in a pile, unsure why they were there and what I should do with them. As I was ding something, I had a light bulb moment and new. Operation Beautiful is an on-going project to promote loving your body one sticky note at a time. So I wrote some simple and hopefully uplifting things on them and plan on posting them at every public bathroom I go to.

When I was in college I was studying in the library and I went to pick up a crap piece of paper and realized that it was already written on. It read "To whoever finds this: You are good enough just the way you are." I can't put into words how much I needed to hear something like this at that point in my life. I have carried that scrap of paper around since then and wish I could thank whoever wrote it.

Anyway, back to my mini-vacation. I think the best part of it was taking a bath with just a bunch of candles and a glass of wine, with Neko singing in the other room. I'm trying to radically amp up my self-love and just being comfortable in my own skin, even for the length of a bath is great. I feel re-energized and ready to go back to work tomorrow and tackle new challenges.

My biggest challenge for myself is the story book I am doing for my sister. I really want her to have a book that shows kids with Down Syndrome without focusing on their difference from other kids. And I just love drawing her. I did learn the hard way today that I need to spellcheck before I ink things. little

don't forget to curl your eyelashes

I was reading a post from a dear friend of mine about how she was struggling with this feeling that she needs to drastically change some part of her appearance to fix things. This and the fact that I just finished reading Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti (of Feministing.com) set my mind a going.

I have always, like every girl to some extent, struggled with the way I look. I was a chubbier kid and had a strange view of fashion. I once wore a leopard print jumpsuit to class in 5th grade and lets just say I am still cringing at the things kids said to me. I have spend so much time focusing on my weight and how things would be just easier for me if I was at least a size six.

Somewhere in my 20s I realized that it was pointless trying to work and work to be beautiful in someone else's eyes because that work will never be finished. There will always be some new thing I should be doing, some new makeup I should have or some new hairstyle I should try and it is exhausting. I tried to embrace what I love about myself. Doing Boudoir photograph with my dear friends really helped, especially since I was not doing them for anyone. I had no significant other, I just got dolled up and took sexy pictures of myself for myself. And it was wonderful.

But one day does not fix everything. I still find myself obsessing for hours at work worried that someone will notice and judge me because I forgot to pluck my eyebrows that day. I think that maybe if I fit into my skinny jeans I would feel better about myself. Just now I ran through a list of all the things I need to do before work so I can look good enough to go out tonight, while I am sure my man is just going to go to work like he does every day. How fucked up is that? How do I get over that?

It is hard to try to get this mindset that we are not good enough as we are out of our heads. That we need to buy something in order to fix something about ourselves. I have yet to find an answer. Anyone have one?

Aside: Galadarling runs a lovely blog that has great articles of what she calls Radical Self-Love. I have to look to her for support sometimes and try to put some of her advice into my daily life. Check her out, especially this article, How to Practice Major Mega Supreme Body Love...Daily!

I am trying something small, something that probably no one will notice but me. I am a serial nail-polisher. I think my nails look weird without a layer of paint on them. I have bought those damn expensive Sally Hansen nail stickers and have spent hours doing crazy patterns on my fingernails only to take it all off and do it again the next day. All because I think that that is a requirement for me to look "done" when I go out. So, starting now, and going through August, I am going to shun nail-polish on my fingers and toes. I really want the goal to be that I don't think of the natural way these parts of my body look aren't gross. Like I said, starting small.