A big post for a big weekend

I have been MIA for a few days because I had to take a wonderful road trip to my adopted home-state of Minnesota! Geoff and I went up there for a friend of mine's wedding and we had an amazing time. Having never explored the land of a thousand lakes, Geoff was eager to see some sights. So clearly the first place I took him was the Mall Of America.

We shopped a lot, met some of my friends at The Afternoon (which basically is the best store in the mall) and ate at my favorite place to eat at the mall, the Twin Cities Grill. Geoff approved of the food:

I also got to have coffee with a friend of mine there and after  awhile we drove over to my dear friend Megan's to stay for the rest of the weekend. Meg and I were college roommates and I have missed her like crazy. She and her husband Gabe showed us an amazing time, complete with pizza, scrabble, and their new addition to the family, Susannah:

Day two was wedding day and Meg scampered off to take amazing photos (you can see a sneak peak here at Wildlovephotography) and Gabe, Geoff, and I had pastries and a little vintage shopping. Turns out Scout Vintage, Two Birds and Salvage Strawberry threw up a vintage sale right next to where we breakfasted. I got a really fun sweater, an old singer sewing machine tin, and a key holder and Geoff got a snazzy tie and a zip up sweater.

Geoff and I got fancy for the wedding and went off to Delano. I had a blast and Aaron and Christa looked amazing and beautiful. Aaron has been my friend since we did college improv together and he is one of those people that is just so genuine and loving that I do not think you could leave a conversation with him without a smile on your face. I had not had the chance to meet Christa before, but she was everything Aaron told me she was. I am so happy for this couple.  Here is the groom and I:

And a couple more, of Megan and Geoff and myself:

 Day three was basically just breakfast with Meg and Gabe and another college friend, Laura. It was just a great trip and I am so glad we went.

Put down the cheese

While already feeling a little chunky lately, I went home and tried on my wedding dress. You can guess where this is heading. I think I need to lose about 8-10 pounds before I can comfortably zip that sucker up. Which is frustrating.

After being vegan for six months, I moved back to Madison and promptly began eating all of the brats and cheese that came my way. And I no longer fit in my skinny jeans.

However, I do like the way my body looks most of the time. I've always been a curvy girl and always will be. And I have been trying to promote self-love and I've been reading about feminism and loving what I have been reading so the idea of making myself loose weight to fit into a dress seems a little weird.

However, the dress cost almost 2 grand, so I think I have to suck it up and put down the Havarti.

Because please tell me if there is any other day in a woman's life when she is looked at more, with more scrutiny and intensity than when she shows up at the end of a wedding aisle? I can't think of one. Whenever anyone talks about any girl getting married it always seems like how the bride looked is a huge deal, but never how the guy looks.

So I am trying to find a balance between not wanting to go on a diet and still loosing a little. We're looking at gyms this week and I'm hoping some regular exercise will help. Plus it will give me a chance to listen to Lady GaGa without Geoff looking at me funny.

But that pull, that deep pull to stop eating everything I like and go back to nibbling on toast and popcorn is there. While in my dress unzipped, I can't help but think of myself as a Junior in undergrad when I had lost so much weight from depression. And I'm looking back fondly on that time because at least I would have gotten in my dress now - I fail to realize that I would not be able to hold it up though. The whole thing makes my stomach queasy because of how hard that compulsive need to diet and obsess about one's weight is just hammered into our little heads.

rant, rave, and compliment

I've been reading a lot of books about feminism lately and doing research into parts of culture that upset me enough to actually take action and/or do more research and make life choices.

I am signed up to volunteer at Planned Parenthood next week. I will be calling local residents and letting them know about the impact of women's issues on the upcoming election. I expect to be hung up on a lot but I also hope to just plant a seed in a few people's minds. I am thrilled to meet the woman I have been emailing with about this and others who are driven to get out of their houses and help out. Planned Parenthood is about so much more than abortions and while I understand people's reservations about the idea of abortion, I cannot understand reservations about choice.

I have also been questioning seriously the meaning behind taking Geoff's last name when we get married. I've been struggling with the pomp and circumstance that seems to be expected of every wedding but frankly what turns me on about the day is not swan ice sculptures and a string quartet, but the fact that I am celebrating the commitment I am making to my best friend. As for the last name thing, the more I think about it the more weirded out I am by the idea that I need to change who I am in some way to be married. And it annoys me that I am expected to make this change and the question is never posed to the guy. Geoff and I have talked it over and he has stated that he doesn't care what I do as long as I am happy and married to him. And so I think I will stay Amy Henderson. I'm not super attached to my name (and still cringe when asked to watch Harry and the Hendersons) but it is mine and it is part of me. So it is sticking around. Plus I really hate filling out paperwork and it seems like a lot of work to change a name.


Things you can do:

• Take part in National Love Your Body day. It is coming up, October 19th. Try to ignore the ever present message that your body is not good enough and appreciate it for what it is. Here is a list of suggestions on what to do that day from NOW. This is my personal favorite of theirs. I might have to come up with a few things myself, maybe even do a Love Your Body Week here on the blog.

• Sign this petition to get Facebook to remove groups that promote rape such as "It's not rape if you like it" and "Screwing your girlfriend while she's asleep" This sets me into a fit of rage much like the one I had yesterday over Twitters trending hashtag of #reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend.

• Check out Planned Parenthood in your area - get any info that you need and if you have a spare 2 hours, volunteer. 

• Next time you are at your bookstore of choice, pick up an issue of BUST, Ms. or Bitch. 

•  Compliment a lady friend, not on the way she looks (even if she is looking great) but on her character or actions. We could all hear a little more of that.

We still have a long way to go, but we can get there, baby.

wedding what-nots

I have been having a rough couple of days, mentally. I am prone to stressing out about everything under the sun and recently I have been so tense that I cannot even think. My neck and shoulders feel like cement. And to tell the truth, I don't really have that much to stress about right now. But I have been told that with anxiety issues, it isn't about the outside circumstances that stress me out, it is just something off with my body that puts me into panic mode while watching and episode of Project Runway in bed with a cup of hot tea. It is all just very frustrating.

In other news, Geoff and I are seriously looking into a few places for our upcoming wedding and I am getting very excited. This seems like it would be a HUGE thing to stress about, but really I am just looking forward to it. While I want the day to be wonderful and beautiful and us, what I am excited for is not having a wedding but being married. I have found the person I want to tie my life to and the details aren't the important part. They are pretty fun, but I'm not freaking out over my wedding colors or anything. In fact I don't think I will have wedding colors per say, as my hair will probably clash.

One of the things I am super excited wedding-wise for is that my brother, Ryan, is going to perform the ceremony. We thought about having a wedding in a church for about half a second, but realized that it would just be to please family members and since neither of us is drawn to any religion, we wanted a more custom ceremony. Ryan and I have gotten a lot closer as we have grown and I think he will do a great job of making the event serious and fun at the same time. He has been trying to figure out if he will wear a Darth Vader costume or this number:

Crazy outfits aside, I am pumped to have my brother do this for me. My other three siblings will be a big part of the day as well. With the boys I'm not one hundred percent sure in what capacity, reading something? playing guitar?, but I know they will be great. As for Rachel, if you think I am missing out on a chance to put her in a flower girl dress you are out of your head. She's going to steal the show.