I wanted to check in with a little something I noticed while volunteering at PP the other day. I am a bit of a loner I guess and while interacting with a bunch of girls (and one guy!) I realized that I do not touch people often. With the most notable exception being my partner, Geoff. I was not always this way. In high school, my girlfriends and I would constantly hug or snuggle or tackle or punch or whatever. In college and afterwards I had girls and guys who I could hug without needing a reason. And now, well there is Geoff and Taft, who are wonderful and amazing, but I miss the touch of a friend.
And nothing big when I say "touch" but at this meeting, one of the girls running things would just put her hand on my shoulder when talking to be and another girl put her arm around me at one point and it was just really nice to feel connected on such a basic level to a person. I usually get weired out when people invade my personal space bubble, but since moving away from many of my close friends and growing apart from others, I am missing that contact. And maybe that is why, in between phone calls at PP, I found myself doodling a line of women with their hands entwined.
While I would never advocate touching strangers, I think it is worth thinking about who we touch on a regular basis and what that touch means to us. For me I believe it signifies a longing for female friendship and the need for a community of friends I can be comfortable around.
This reminds me a lot of the photo workshop I attended back in May. We talked so much about the importance of connecting with other people whether they're strangers or otherwise. We did this exercise where we had to sit opposite someone (we were all strangers at this point because this was the first day) and stare at them without saying anything for an entire minute. It was the most awkward thing I've ever done, but by the end of that minute, I felt so much closer to the guy I was sitting across from...and not in a weird, you're a guy, I'm a girl sort of way. Simply in a human kind of way and it was so beautiful. I realized how little I actually look at people when I talk to them or they talk to me and how important it is that I start. We did a lot of exercises like that and by the end of the three days I wanted to reach out and hug the barista at the coffee shop because I felt so overwhelmed with love for the human race. It was weird...but also really cool. It's amazing how much someone giving you a hug or a pat on the shoulder or even just a genuine smile can lift your spirits. It's like that thing that you didn't realize you were missing until someone gives it to you and all of a sudden you feel better.
ReplyDeleteThat is so interesting Meg, it is so weird to think about how little connection we have with most of the people we see everyday. And then once you realize it, it can make those little interactions so meaningful.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post. I'm not naturally a very "touchy-feely" person myself, but my best friend is and now we hug all the time and it is, like you said, a really neat connection to have with someone. It's almost like when people use your name when they are talking to you...it adds a personal touch and confirms that they are talking to and care about you.
ReplyDeleteMegan
Megan - YES - I totally agree with hearing your name from people. Even people you talk to everyday, I don't know what it is but when you hear your name instead of "girl" or "sweeie" or anything else it just connects you to what is being said and the person saying it. Probably why they teach sales people to use names all the time, to mimic that feeling.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
Amy