Worth it

This is going to be a shameless ramble; you've been warned.


I'm was at my momma's the other day and we were talking about how things are going with me and all of a sudden I started crying. A lot. I'm not big on crying. And she started saying things like I've had a really rough year and she was amazed I'm still out having fun and not crying myself to sleep in the bathtub. Which got me feeling reflective.

This year sucked. Like majorly, majorly sucked. I was supposed to be married and well on my way to being a happy homemaker mommyblogger by now. But instead I am single and kind of live like most college kids. I've lost my best friend and had to watch him make a royal mess of his life without being able to help him. Without really wanting to help him.

This year has also been one of the best years I've known. Awesome in fact. I've travelled to San Fransico on a whim for a weekend. My dad and brother and I went to Yosemite park where I hugged a redwood and stood at the edge of a cliff. I went on a trip to Philly and NYC with a guy whom I hardly knew before this year to visit a girl I hardly knew as well. I hopped around Italy for two weeks with my brothers and father. I got promoted at work. I moved to a new and amazing apartments closer to downtown. I go out all of the time and I see more of my family.

And then I start thinking about my friends. I was kind of at a loss for awhile in my city - I had a couple of girlfriends but we only saw each other every now and then. I am so grateful for my friend Josh. We worked together and I blabbed on and on about my relationship issues and he (and everyone else at work) could see how sad I was. So he invited me out a few times. I don't really remember the first time or two I went - I'm sure I wasn't too much fun but at least I was out. And I met a group of people that have made this year out of this world amazing.


I now hang out with a handful of people that now feel like a family. We get together at least once a week and usually much more often. I wasn't really sure about where I was going to fit in with this group. I wasn't dating any of the single guys and I didn't want to feel out of place with the couples. But they all embraced me and took me in. I was continually excited when the girls invite me out or any of them call me to do something. A lot of this is my insecurity - I usually feel like people who invite me out don't really want me to come over or whatever, so when I get to the point where I feel comfortable going over to someone's house just becuase, it's a big deal for me. We joke that I ninjaed my way into this group, that they just came around one day and I was there, part of the gang. And I am. I no longer need Josh to go hang out with any of them - in fact I see some of these people more than he does.


Now most of them are moving closer to where I live and I could not be happier. I feel like I've found my own little sense of community and family really. One of them offered to drive me an hour to get me to my car once - without being asked. We talk about taking trips together - heck Josh and I went to Philly/NYC on a whim. Concerts, movies, camping trips - we have our own shared google calendar to keep up with each other. When we get together a lot of the times we'll sit down and eat "family dinners."

What I guess I'm gushing about is this: I've had a rough time lately, but it was worth it. I'd do it again next year if I had to, if these people were the payout. I'll take seven friends over one crummy relationship. It's taken me awhile people - but I think I learned a little something this year.

HEY GUESS WHO CAN BREATH AGAIN?

it's me!

Let's talk about those eyebrows

I haven't been to that many movies lately. But, my brother came home this weekend and I was craving popcorn like whoa so we hustled over to the theatre to see Star Trek. If you haven't seen it then don't read the rest of this sucker.

So, here's the deal. I'm not a trekkie. I am pretty sure I've never seen an episode of Star Trek in any of its variations. I maybe caught a few minutes at a high school party one (yeah B-town parties know how to rock) but that's about it. So I did not expect to get a whole lot of the inside jokes or have any preconceived notions of the movie. I also only saw one trailer way forever ago.

That being said I was ah-mazed at how much of this movie felt familiar to me. I think that Star Trek is so ingrained into cultural consciousness that it's hard not to be somewhat aware of it. Although I do watch a lot of Futurama which references Star Trek a lot, maybe that's just it. After the movie my brother and I were talking about it and he pointed out that I know a lot more about this Star Trek world than I think. We had a fun time at the movie, thought there were a lot of points where some die-hard fans were laughing or clapping and I was just like uhhh whut? But at the same time I don't think I really missed anything that kept me from enjoying the movie.



I like to see movies a lot. Now I'm all for seeing Oscar-worthy, meaningful, change-my-life movies, but there is just something about summer blockbusters that gets my ass into the theatres. This movie reminded me why I love going to movies, because this movie has so much of what I love to see in movies. Space, romance, time-travel, bar fights, back stories, witty banter, and eyebrows. I loved this movie.



Now sciencey people are harping about how black holes just don't work that way - but frankly I don't care. It worked for me in Donnie Darko and it's working for me now. There's no other way to restart a series and maintain room for a creative storyline. Otherwise all the bigger geeks would ruin what is going to happen and then I'd be pissed. Now I can enjoy the sequels they do (what what rumor has it that the cast is signed for at least two!) without knowing what's going to happen.



This movie was visually appealing. I'm not really sure what that big canyon is doing in Iowa, but hey it looked really good so I'll take it. The space ships, the buildings, ice caves, everything just looked impressive.



I thought the acting was really good. Pine managed to have a little Shatner in his performance but didn't go over to cheesy - all I can picture now is the Shatner from the Family Guy episodes hopping all over the place. The secondary characters were all pretty good too. Though, I have to wonder why all of the kids snuck into these big jobs and the other senior officers just shuffled away. Especially with the dude Uhura replaced. He didn't even say anything - he was just like oh yeah I can't speak Romulan, peace out guys. But whatevs.



What was Winona Ryder doing in this movie? I saw her face and just what the hell?



Annnnnd can we talk about Spock? I didn't know that guy could kick so much ass. From the moment he stuck it to the man by rejecting the Vulcan something-something academy, I knew I was going to like him. I loved the dialogue between him and Kirk. And that scene where Uhura was all pissy about him not treating her like teacher's pet. Even though he's this big stoic guy with emotional repression issues, I think that the movie did a great job in balancing the human and Vulcan in him. I love, love that he's got the girl that Kirk's been eyeing up. And Quinto looked like he could be related to Nemoy. Freaky. As I said on twitter, I would get all makey-outy on this Spock. Contrary to my dating record, smart guys are pretty high up on my hot list.



The bad guy in this movie seemed almost like an afterthought though. I mean he's there, destroying planets and what-not, but I'm more interested in Spock kicking Kirk's ass. I think for me it was because Nero wasn't that distinguishable from the other Romulans on his ship. At least not to me. It was hard to tell sometimes who the main bad dude was. Although, to be fair, face tattoos.



I'm not even going to try to hide how much of the dork that I am about this movie. I'm seeing this one again, at least one more time. Hopefully at the Imax this week. And I may have loudly claimed that I'm buying the d.v.d. as soon as it comes out.

4 or 5??

Dude do I work until four or five today? I cannot remember for the life of me and I'm the only one in the office today. I could bail I guess but I'd rather get paid.

That's all!

catching up

I'm home from vacation!

I went to Italy for just about two weeks with my three younger brothers and my dad. It was pretty instense. We saw amazing art, buildings and mountains. We played cards and shopped at fancy stores. I bought some watercolors in Venice, where my dad lost all of our passports. That was the biggest non-fun part of the trip (there were a few). We had to go to the police station for awhile, I took a lovely nap there, for my dad to fill out a report. The two older boys, Fro and Ryan, and I were pretty pissed so dad bought us a bottle of wine with diner that night. We ended up having to go to the embassy in Milan and got five new passports for the price of $600 with a bonus 4 AM call to my mother since Mikey is under 18.

Anway, we had a good time. We got lost every day but the last day, and that day we were running so late we thought we would miss the plane home. Driving in Italy is crazy. Street signs are very hard to see from the road and from what I can tell the drivers think that those lines on the pavement mean nothing.

The best part of the trip for me, (other than all that mushy getting to know my brothers as people kind of stuff) was that I had some big moments of inspiration and got some writing done. The trip also gave me a few more stories ideas so we'll hope that I follow through with them.

Now I'm home and trying to get back into the swing of work and home. I took this morning off of work because my throat feels so gross and nasty. Yesterday I sat myself at the computer and made myself type all of the notes and additions I wrote on the trip to the piece that I'm working on. Well almost all of them, just about done.

I got an email from a grad school in MN that I applied to about extending my application for their second semester acceptance. I hadn't really planned on moving from where I am, but more and more I think that it might be good for me. I'm sending in the paperwork they need so I guess we'll just have to see.

rant

Ok so yesterday I drove home and was getting all my crap together (for whatever reason I feel the need to take at least two books with me to work along with a notebook and usually like two water bottles) and prepared to exit my car. I looked for cars (my street is crowded cause you can park on both sides) and opened my door. When out of nowhere this dude on a bike flies past me, missing me by inches. He yelled "Watch for bikers!" as he scooted on off. Now I, in my flustered state, pretty much screeched "I'm sorry."

But here's the thing. He had the whole freaking road to bike - there were no cars coming in either direction for blocks, and yet he felt compelled to drive right by the car that had passed him a block before and just parked and obviously would have someone exiting the car in moments. Had he not said anything I would have probably just felt bad and then been careful from then on (or at least for the next week or so). BUT, because he had to tell me to watch for bikers in a condescending I'm-so-much-better-than-you-and-your-shitty-centra-with-a-broken-headlight kind of way, I'm just pissed. Fuck you biker man.

Now I live in probably the most biker friendly city in the Midwest. But seriously most of these bikers do not have common sense! And yeah, ok you're a better person than I am because you bike to work and I drive and you clearly are more in tune with the world and issues and whatever, but seriously I do not care.

AND, now that I'm on a roll here, when I was younger I was hit by a car while I was on my bike. Through no fault of my own, the guy took a corner too fast and clipped my back tire sending my flying through the air. I was like 10 at the time so you can imagine how fast the guy slammed on his breaks to see if I was ok. Which I was. But you know what? I didn't tell the guy - oh you should watch for bikers. I FREAKING WATCHED OUT FOR MORON DRIVERS FROM THAT POINT ON. And you should too biker man. Cause if I see you again I might be tempted to throw my door out on purpose. Jeesh.

Writing

Right now I'm trying to motivate myself to seriously work more on my writing. I printed off about 40 pages of a story I'm working on and I trying to edit what I have at this point. I have to write everything by hand for the most part. I just feel much more connected to what I'm doing if I have the pen in my hand. Then I can type it. And then I print it out and write all over the printed copy, which makes me feel like I'm working in the writing center at school again.

Back to it!