I have been having a rough couple of days, mentally. I am prone to stressing out about everything under the sun and recently I have been so tense that I cannot even think. My neck and shoulders feel like cement. And to tell the truth, I don't really have that much to stress about right now. But I have been told that with anxiety issues, it isn't about the outside circumstances that stress me out, it is just something off with my body that puts me into panic mode while watching and episode of Project Runway in bed with a cup of hot tea. It is all just very frustrating.
In other news, Geoff and I are seriously looking into a few places for our upcoming wedding and I am getting very excited. This seems like it would be a HUGE thing to stress about, but really I am just looking forward to it. While I want the day to be wonderful and beautiful and us, what I am excited for is not having a wedding but being married. I have found the person I want to tie my life to and the details aren't the important part. They are pretty fun, but I'm not freaking out over my wedding colors or anything. In fact I don't think I will have wedding colors per say, as my hair will probably clash.
One of the things I am super excited wedding-wise for is that my brother, Ryan, is going to perform the ceremony. We thought about having a wedding in a church for about half a second, but realized that it would just be to please family members and since neither of us is drawn to any religion, we wanted a more custom ceremony. Ryan and I have gotten a lot closer as we have grown and I think he will do a great job of making the event serious and fun at the same time. He has been trying to figure out if he will wear a Darth Vader costume or this number:
Crazy outfits aside, I am pumped to have my brother do this for me. My other three siblings will be a big part of the day as well. With the boys I'm not one hundred percent sure in what capacity, reading something? playing guitar?, but I know they will be great. As for Rachel, if you think I am missing out on a chance to put her in a flower girl dress you are out of your head. She's going to steal the show.